darlenealdreson:

• who said i love you first? james. james af. james had known sirius for, like, a week and he was like ‘hey guess what i love you’ and sirius was like ‘um okay pls stop making our incredibly homoerotic friendship weird like i didnt ask for this’ but once they are in a proper relationship james says it first again tbh.
  
• who laughs when the other trips? sirius puts things in james’ way and hides his glasses and then laughs when james trips because sirius is always really Extra and always needs a nap tbh.
• who pays the bills? neither of them they have a really beleaguered accountant who is probably called something like klaus and klaus lowkey hates them and highkey overcharges them for handling their affairs but like they dont ever notice or care. bc they dont fucking pay bills.
• which one makes a bigger deal around the holidays? SIRIUS GOD REST YE MERRY HIPPOGRIFFS BLACK TBH. james is always really annoyed bc its not as if he doesnt like holidays like of course he likes holidays but he mostly just likes getting presents and the thing is that sirius is again really fucking Extra and he will like find out what james is getting him and be like ‘oh matching mirrors how cute’ and then go all out to find something Bigger and Better and when james sees his gift hes like ‘okay but you know its not a competition right’ but like sirius thinks james is missing the point which is that sirius went out of his way bc he loves him so much.
• who’s more clumsy? your boy jp tbh but like hes not very clumsy its just that up against sirius black anyone could be called clumsy.
• who checks their daily horoscope? sirius. he like has weird guilt over it and james wants to make fun of him but like he also doesnt bc sirius is REALLY mean when hes mocked and james isnt easily scared but. he is scared af of a sirius black on the warpath. 
• who sings louder in the car? sirius god rest ye merry hippogriffs black tbhhhhh.
• who leaves the cap off the toothpaste? JAMES and one day they have a long knockdown dragout kind of a fight about it (bc their True Love™ relationship doesnt ever allow for proper fights about real things that matter) and the next morning james is very conscious of how he needs to put the cap back on the tube and then he realises its gone missing and he asks sirius about it and sirius hints at how the cap probably was forced down james’ throat in his sleep but like theres no way to be certain about its present location.
• who is more up to date in pop culture? sirius but like thats not saying much bc james is basically an old man and his idea of pop culture is yelling at the football tbh like he knows nothing about anything.
• who insists on going to see the newest movies? like tbh remus who comes round to bully them into seeing films with him bc he has no other friends. and they go bc james feels bad but sirius doesnt much care either way so. james. i guess.
• who cries when the abused animal commercials come on? james. sirius only gets emotional about that sort of a thing when he knows james isnt around to see.
• who’s the lighter sleeper? sirius.
• who believes in ghosts? BOTH OF THEM sm bc they watch all the same trash films and when james inherits his parents old house in the country they go out there for the weekend and they both have to keep reminding each other that ghosts dont exist even though james keeps saying things like ‘im not saying my parents are haunting me but tbh dad would think that was so fucking funny.’
• who does the grocery shopping? um do you remember klaus from the bills question.
• who updates their facebook status more often? jp tbh.

darlenealdreson:

Just like every year, James goes, “Oh, is it– is it your birthday? Lads, listen here, did you know our little Sirius is having a birthday?”

Remus, still sore over the thing with Snivellus last year, apparently, only smiles tightly, and Peter falls all over himself congratulating Sirius on ageing, as if it takes any real skill to have a birthday, and Sirius wants to go back to bed, really, but then a shadow falls over where they’re sat with an illicit bottle of firewhiskey by Greenhouse Three, and Regulus is dropping an envelope to the ground by Sirius’ feet, snarling, “I bought it in advance. You’re fucking welcome.”

“You buy all gifts in advance, you control freak!” Sirius shouts after him, rolling his eyes, but he’s not going to turn down a present even if it is coming from The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

Sirius may not be a Black anymore, whatever, but he is English, and so he fucking loves getting shit for free.

And it’s a key, and a scrap of parchment with an address on it, and nothing else, and Peter, oddly, fucking Peter, is the one to laugh, “Isn’t a wristwatch traditional?”

And then James is cackling, “Classic Regulus,” and even Remus is grinning, and James hands Sirius a wrapped box, like, “Mum and Dad weren’t sure if it was… overstepping, mate, but we thought you should have a watch, so–”

And so Sirius forgets about Regulus’ gift until the Christmas holidays, when he’s out viewing a flat in London, and he’s passing a lot full of motorbikes, and before he really knows what’s happening, a man is saying, “Took good care of her for you, sir, here, have a look,” and there’s a fucking beautiful Triumph Bonneville, gleaming white and black, just like the ones in the photos stuck to his walls at Grimmauld Place, and it’s his.

And James, tipsy from mulled wine as they wander around the Christmas market that night, yawns doubtfully, “It’s probably cursed. It’ll probably throw you to your extremely early death.”

“I’ve named it Jamie,” Sirius lies. 

He’s done no such thing, of course, but he absolutely will now. 

James groans, hides a grin against the curve of Sirius’ neck, like, “Padfoot, no, come on.”

“It’s a girl’s name, Prongs; all bikes are girls. What do you want from me?”